Firsts

We have had a string of "firsts" over the past 2 days. First apartment in Amsterdam, first grocery shopping in Amsterdam, and first pick-pocket experience in Amsterdam. Let's get started on the fun, shall we? The apartment is in what is supposed to be a swank, ritzy section of Amsterdam, the Jordaan. If you ask me, it doesn't look too different from most of the rest of Amsterdam. But consider me the uneducated observer. The apartment was 1 of 10 that I saw over the course of 2 weeks. It was the best, in my estimation, of the 2 bedroom varieties that I viewed. It's on the 2nd and 3rd floors (they call ground floor 0 here and the next flight up, 1), so no one's above us. The stairwell on the way up is quite tight. I'm the male version of Olive Oyl (as most know), and I can barely squeeze up. I went to second base with the woman who was showing the apartment, as we tried to pass each other in the stairwell leaving no space what-so-ever between us! We both had a cigarette once I was able to pass by her!! Once you unlock our door, there's another small flight of stairs before you turn into our living room on the right. On the left is the dining area and kitchen, with a door in the back to a small roof garden terrace. Up another flight of stairs takes you to the bedroom floor, where you will find 2 at opposite ends of a hall. The guest bedroom is street side with it's bathroom, and the master is in the back with it's bath and jacuzzi. The furniture is flea market quality, but the appliances in the kitchen are quite modern. Both TV's are that old fashioned tube variety, but I can deal with that until all 63 inches of Big Bertha gets here in a couple of months. Upon day 1 in the place, I had a nifty list of things that needed repair or attention that I'm sure they accepted gracefully via email. A young man came to the apartment today with his sister (I know some of you are thinking "Borat", but no....) to fix the items, but all he ended up doing was taking the broken lamp from the master bedroom and showing me how to get the plate to rotate in the M/W - conventional oven combo. Good thing his sister was with him, because he spoke very little English. Both were Polish (hurrah for half of me!), but luckily she could speak English fluently, along with German and Polish. After unsuccessfully trying to get the DVD/CD/AM-FM radio combo to play music, they left. Yes...everything is a freakin' combo over here! I'm waiting to see the combo wood chipper/ toe nail clipper that must be floating around here somewhere!! Anyway, this part reminded me so much of our beloved country. I had all of these problems to report, and I couldn't get a hold of one person in their office all day yesterday. Yep, once the ink is dry and they have your Euros, they give you the number to the last phone both on the continent. More on the apartment at a later date. On to the 2nd "first"...shopping.
The most popular and prominent grocery is Albert Heijn. Yep.....tiny store, tiny aisles, tiny workers, tiny packages, tiny, tiny, TINY!!! Where in the hell is my Sam's Club 60 dozen crate of eggs??? What's this matchbox sized thing with 2 hummingbird eggs in it??? Where's my 55 gallon drum of ketchup??? Are you kidding me with this??? Ketchup in a roll of toothpaste??? I have NEVER seen a bag of potato chip! No, this "s" is not missing. And seriously, I rubbed up against more females in 5 minutes at that store than I did in all of 10th grade! I may have committed foreplay this afternoon and don't even know it!! Ahhh...but it gets better. A container of OJ was purchased yesterday and when I went to open it I noticed the seal was already broken and the paper seal inside was pushed in. So, I went back to the store today to exchange it. I went to the desk, and a girl was there. I handed her the receipt at the same time explaining what happened. She said no problem and before I could get a word out she crumpled up the receipt and tossed it into this big drum of receipts!!! Radhika would kill me if I didn't get that back as it has to be turned in to the "company" to get our $$$ back. So, I told her I needed it as the paper hit the container. Well, there we stood looking at crumpled pieces of paper. I told her it should be right on top and even on the left side of the container. But Missy was a little overwhelmed and we sorted through close to 50 slips by the time I found it. It was in Dutch of course, which caused me to examine each one like it contained the secrets of the universe. Looking at these foreign (to me) products was a challenge. I was so happy at the sight of some western labels I recognize, I bought a bottle of Pepsi. Okay, so it's Pepsi Max. Do we have that in the US? I have had half a glass and I'm as jittery as George Bush taking a polygraph. When I was viewing apartments, I commented on the (what else?) small size of the fridge, and the woman replied that here, people like to food shop, that they do it every day or every other day as the food is fresher and better, not like in the US where you can buy bigger packages that last longer. I had to tell her, "Baby, bigger is better!" Who enjoys grocery shopping?!?! She said I can have it delivered. If they like food shopping so much, why is there a delivery option?!?! Hmmmm...I smell bogus pie! Anyway, food shopping is going to take some getting used to like most everything else! The final "first" of this post.......
Sitting in Burger King (hell yeah...I needed my fix). I pick a seat near the window so I have something to watch as I ingest my cholesterol. My blood is flowing much slower, so I know I am close to finishing my meal. Three men sit behind me. It's close quarters (surprised?) and there are plenty of open tables around. I just found it a little odd. I must admit to a little profiling (screw political correctness) and didn't feel like these guys needed to be ignored. I don't exactly know what made me do it, but I twisted around in my chair and found the biggest guys hand (of course!) in my leather coat pocket. I instinctively grabbed his arm and pulled it out and he said something like 'what are you doing?' - - some other words - - and then he apologized. I can't honestly recall what I said to him as I acted. I recall sitting back down, and then turning my chair and the chair next to me, as I put my feet up on it and watched them as I finished my lunch. They actually tried talking to me, asking me where I was from, but I just looked at them, only saying they better be careful, the world is a dangerous place as I left. Of course Radhika freaked out a bit that night when I told her, but it's a good lesson. Keep all valuables in a safe place (in my case, the inside pockets of my coat) and be aware. So, all-in-all a happy ending, as I had my passport and wallet with me in those inside, zipped pockets.
Gotta add some pictures to the blog. Stay tuned for more stories as they happen.